What were some temporary ways you used to cope? The kind that were not healthy to hang onto long term, but felt like they helped in the heat of starting your life over?
Two come to my mind. I picked up smoking after a death in the family. I wasn’t allowed to express my grief and become a burden, so the next best thing I could do was get some nicotine. It got me to go outside regularly and breathe deeply. Still, it was a band aid for something that connection was supposed to heal. In October, I will be two years smoke free!
The other was duloxatine. The doctor prescribed it for my anxiety. It was great for getting the sirens in my system to shut up long enough to make some cold, logical decisions to survive. On the downside, it exacerbated my fatigue and gave me the zaps if I was late taking a dose. Going in, I knew this was just a band aid. The grief and anxiety weren’t gone, only muted. Once life stabilized a bit, those emotions would have to be faced. I was able to slowly wean off and quit about the same time I quit smoking.
Had I stayed on those crutches, I would have remained frozen, numb, addicted, and stunted. Those alarm systems of anxiety, panic and rage would have fought their way up to explode at the worst moments. Thankfully, God has provided the counsel and community I needed to deal with my problems His way.
So those are my examples of crutches. What crutches did you have when starting over? Were they recreational? Medical? Behavioral, like keeping people at a distance? Do they help or did they hold you back in the long term?
Dr. Delony’s Own Your Past, Change Your Future has been a handy resource.
mindnmybiscuits 